blah blah blah

It's normal to be scared of the future right? It's a natural human response to the unknown. So I'm stupid to let my fears hold me back from anything and everything I do.

Want is such a common word in my vocabulary. It makes an appearance in so many thoughts and conversations that I have; it would seem like it's my favorite word. HA.....right.

I don't like the word want. It sounds so whiny. I wish I could use the word need more often. But using the word need requires knowing if you actually need, or just think you do. But then again, what does someone actually need other than the basic human necessities?

Yup....I really love to ramble.

There's no time like the present

Sometimes I really want to run away. I've thought about it so many times, leaving this town and starting over somewhere else. But you can never really start over can you? Your past fallows you everywhere no matter how hard you try to run away from it. There will always be people in your life that will hold you back, even if they don't know they're doing it or don't mean to do it. There will always be excuses that you make for yourself. "I don't have enough money."....My personal favorite.

Part of me really wishes that I moved out of town to go to school instead of staying here.

But another part of me is glad I stayed. If I had left, even moved a few hours away like I wanted to, I wouldn't be with this amazing guy right now. We would still be where we were a couple months ago.

It feels like he is the only good thing in my life at the moment. I don't have a horrible life, I just have a life that I'm not happy with. I hate my job, I don't want to be going to school, I don't want to live at home. I am so discontent it's not even funny.